Images 30

The Un-Booty call.......

  • By girly-d
  • On 26/10/2017
  • 1 comments

He's home alone.

For 5 days. His housemate's away. Do I want to come over?.....

That should have been a stupid question. Normally I'd be there like a shot...But right now I don't know.

Honest answer.

I'm mulling it over in my head. Pro's and cons. Fantastic sex on tap versus potential emotional fallout. Because as much as I want this guy, I'm not sure I want to play this game any more.

Six months ago when I met him,  this would have been top of my wishlist. He's cool. I love hanging out with him. But a lot can change in six months. And I have changed beyond all recognition.

My inner fox is begging me to do this. In the bedroom we are fluid. We know instinctively what to do to blow each others heads off. The last person to make me come was him. In a hotel room. Booked last minute because we couldn't bear to wait a second longer than we had to before we got naked. Just us....our massive desire for each other, and two novelty toothbrushes that we grabbed from the Co-op along the way....

Check-in took forever. 

And then it was just the two of us. In the same room. Unable to keep our eyes or our hands off each other. 

 We didn't make breakfast....

It was awesome.

A repeat would be incredible. More of the same and God only knows what else. There's only one problem.

I'm not a booty call. His or anyone else's.

I would love to do this. He knows my body better than i know it myself. And vice versa. But after my journey through detox and rehab and looking back at all of the wrong turns and "not quite right" men that have got me to this point,  where I am now sat here writing this, I've realised that I don't want it. 

Because the next person I get naked with is going to want more than just five days. I don't want to be strung along, promised the earth and then be left dangling. It's insulting. And bad for my self esteem. I've been through enough now. I'd rather be by myself. 

I've never been able to say that before. But it's true.

He's messaging me as I write this. Small talk. Chit chat. Building up to the main event. Which would involve me and him getting naked and  picking up from where we left off...I can't say I'm not tempted....

Except it's not going to happen. He can call all he likes. It doesn't mean that I have to pick up the phone..for the first time ever I'm putting my emotional needs  first.

Because if this is a booty call then I've done myself a favour....I don't need the headfuck, and if it isn't, well....he needs to raise his game and show me that it's more.

God, this feels weird. Like I've been swapped. With someone who actually has some self-respect....

Wow. Go me....it's only taken me 30 odd years to find some....

 

mental health me myself and i decisions inner diva control

Comments

  • Paolo
    Better late than never. Bravo :)

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