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Bag lady....

  • By girly-d
  • On 17/04/2018
  • 0 comments

I'm nearly in the princess pad.

I can't fucking wait.

Because stepping over that threshold properly - no more to-ing and fro-ing between my old place and my new is cathartic. It means that when I close that door, I actually truly am closing that door. 

I'm turning my back on five long horrible years and I'm starting afresh.

There's a bin-bag in my kitchen. It's full of 'old me' stuff. Things that reminded me of who I was before the madness started...things that make me sad if I try to hold onto them...stunning dresses I wore on red carpets - ditto shoes, photos, lipsticks... its all either going or gone.

I don't need them anymore...

I haven't walked a red carpet in ages...or been in a magazine for a while. I don't need these things. They don't define me.

They don't make me who I am.

I do.

Just me. 

The woman who had to lose it all to find out who she truly was.

The woman who lived out of bin-bags when it all went horribly and terribly wrong.

The woman that kept on going when life dealt her a really, really shit deck of cards and she honestly just wanted to throw in the towel...but instead clawed her way back off that sofa and towards some semblance of normality again.

That defines me.

Thats who I really truly am.

I don't need awards or kudos or any of those things to show me that.

So that bin bag is destined for the skip...just as soon as it's full to capacity.

Because there's still a bit more room in there...I'm saving that for the real rubbish...other peoples opinions, the rumours and the gossip...all of those horrible, nasty things that people said or did to me when I was on my arse...they are going in there.

Because those five years of shit showed me what's important...and not one of those peoples thoughts or opinions matter.

I don't give two shits what any of those people think of me. 

I know who I am.

And I'm proud of the person I've become.

So to all of those people who live in glass houses, sat in the bar in W*********ns right now, these self-proclaimed pillars of society...gossiping about the mess that I made of things and wondering for the millionth time what has become of me, 'the bag lady'...boring everyone around them with their half-truths and speculations and pointy fingers...then going home to a ping meal for one and a bit of jeremy kyle on catch-up, this one's for you...

In answer to your question, (but not that it's any of your business), these days you can find me in my princess pad...the one I've worked hard for and that I currently own...I'll be the sober one sipping on a chai latte, writing a feature for my magazine column that I've also worked hard for,...surrounded by those glittering awards of mine and magazine covers with my name written all over them...

And not a bin bag in sight.

Happy now?

Good...because I'm not telling you again.

 So enjoy your ready meal...and Jeremy...and maybe think twice about throwing stones next time at someone who's on their arse and on the floor...because they just might get back up...

#benice

 

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