- By girly-d
- On 05/02/2018
- 0 comments
So I'm staying over. At his....... On Tuesday night.
It makes sense....It saves interrupting our evening, dicking around with trains and a walk home alone for me through pitch black fields, late at night, attempting to dodge cow pats and copious amounts of sheeps piss.
And I know this guy, which means that I trust him enough to assume that he's not going to jump on me or set upon me with an axe once I'm in his flat, behind closed doors.
So it'll be cool. It'll be fine. We're just having some food and catching up with ourselves. No biggie. Absolutely nothing to worry about - It's not like we're going to have sex or anything.....
Because then I would be bricking it....
See that's the thing with being sober.
You don't get to hide behind anything. Which means that, for people like me, who don't drink alcohol, there is no "Dutch courage" .....there's no courage related "taking-the-edge-off the whole thing" anything anymore. The best option available to me now is "Rescue Remedy" and somehow I don't think that that is going to cut it, if and when I ever get naked with this guy....
Because, lets be honest, two people together in a room, with an attraction and the possibility of seeing where that attraction is going to lead, generally leads to one thing.....seeing exactly where that attraction leads. Via the bedroom.
On the one hand, he's stone cold sober too. So it's going to be equally as tricky for him. More so in fact - because his level of arousal ( or lack of it) is, visually at least a lot more apparant than mine shall we say......so heaven forbid that nerves get in the way on that front. That would be mortifying.
But then equally, if we are both as nervous as each other then the whole thing could be an absolute disaster. Of epic proportions. Meaning red faces, ruined expectations and not a hope in hells chance of either of us hanging around for a second attempt. More like a taxi for one out of there asap and a mutual deleting of numbers.
Which would be a horrible outcome - Because I like this guy and he likes me....and I'm hoping that this relationship might be something decent for once.
He told me the other night that he thought I was gorgeous when we were in rehab together. Jesus. I'd like to think that I've gone up a few notches in the gorgeous stakes since then.....And so obviously I'm hoping that he thinks that too, when I get off that train and we see each other properly again for the first time in months.
Because I genuinely do like this guy. And at some point in the future, I'm pretty sure that I'd like to do more than just have dinner with him.
Now, I've never been the kind of girl who goes rooting around in bathroom cupboards or bedroom drawers when a person's back is turned.... that's not me, it's never been my style....but, if by some small miracle I just happen to stumble across an open packet of "Kalms" on my travels....well, I think that I can safely say that this man will not know what's hit him when we eventually do reach that bedroom......