- By girly-d
- On 10/03/2018
- 0 comments
I try to see the best in people.
Even when I know that it's futile.
I keep looking for the good in someone even when I'm being treated appallingly - I'm the kind of woman who would find something loveable about a rabid dog. In fact if I thought that I could get near it I'd probably take it home.....
But the last fourty-eight hours means that I'm starting to learn from my mistakes. So thats progress.
I stayed at my ex-boyfriends two nights ago. For several reasons. One, because I had a training course to go on the following day and his flat was minutes away, two, because despite the fact that most of our relationship has been blighted by his alcoholism I was still a bit in love with him.....but mainly because three, I am at times incredibly stupid and just need to realise that I am once again flogging a dead horse and be done with him once and for all.
He was working that day. He told me he'd be home by eight. I'd suggested picking up Thai food as it was late.
He added extra to the order which I was paying for as a thanks for letting me stay. I'd sent a text beforehand asking him what he wanted, when with hindsight I really should have called instead - Because if I'd called him I'd have realised that he was drunk and therefore could have saved myself the best part of thirty quid.
I wasn't that hungry to start with - plus he was shitfaced when I got there and so most of the food that I'd bought went either on his clothes or on the carpet....because when he said that he would be home by eight, what he actually meant was that he hadn't been to work and instead had been drinking continually for the last 36 hours.....
Conversation was impossible. I don't speak Smirnoff and so he basically sat there talking codshit to himself for the rest of the night.
Which ended with him doing something unspeakable.....and resulted in two things.
One, I left the next morning without saying goodbye....and two I am officially no longer in love with him.....