- By girly-d
- On 28/11/2017
- 0 comments
When I was a girl I loved fairytales.
Sleeping Beauty, Snow White, Cinderella.....They all rocked my world with their "Handsome Princes" and their "Happy ever afters."
I secretly wanted to star in my own and imagined myself galloping off into the sunset with my handsome prince, jingling the keys to my very own castle.
It was going to be lush.
Except it didn't quite turn out that way.
Looking back, I don't remember any fairy tale I ever read having a chapter called "It will all end in tears". Shame really. Because if there had been, then maybe I would have been more prepared for the fact that sometimes, what begins as a fairy tale can end up as a horror movie.
They should teach it in schools - "Why kissing frogs can be bad for your health".....or something along those lines.
It would save a lot of heartache.
Anyway, I grew up and grew older and men came and went from my life.
Some were cool, most were pretty non-descript. A very small minority were awesome.
And a few turned out to be seriously "Not Very Nice".
There was the stalker guy who couldn't understand why I got upset when he was caught trying to climb in through my kitchen window "to suprise me"...( I suprised him....by phoning the police)
There was the undertaker guy who had an obsession with serial killers who wanted to cast me in one of his "films".....
There was the narcisisst
The violent, paranoid alcoholic.....
But not a prince in sight.....
Because it appeared that my "dick head" radar was well and truly shot to bits, as time and time again I was meeting idiots and arseholes.
I realised that there was a pattern forming.
My self confidence was on the floor and I was craving affection, but attracting the same shit constantly....and, while I know now that those guys were both nasty and unbalanced, I had to look at why I was being drawn to them and them to me in the first place.
So I made changes.
I stopped drinking and started to look after myself.
As I got stronger and fitter my confidence improved and I looked and felt pretty again.
I had no desire to be a doormat or a punchbag, and being tee-total meant that I saw people and situations for what they were instead of squinting in an alcoholic haze through my rose-tinted glasses.
I was able to swerve any potentially undesirable characters as I could spot them coming a mile off .
Instead of falling for a shit chat up line or feeling obliged to have a drink with someone I didn't find even remotely attractive, I learned to say no.
I chose my friends carefully and wisely. I surrounded myself with good, decent people who had no hidden agendas as far as I was concerned.
And I raised my bar to the level it should have been set to from the start.
But most importantly, I stopped attracting idiots - They couldn't get past my firewall.
So these days, on the rare occasion that I do say yes, I date decent guys now.
I go to restaurants and for nights out.
I enjoy myself .
I get treated like a Princess because I am one. And I respect myself now that the monsters from my past are long gone.
My dick-head radar is no longer needed and my tiara glitters.