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Lets Talk About (no) Sex Baby....

  • By girly-d
  • On 25/10/2017
  • 0 comments

They don't like you having relationships in rehab; Or for about 18 months after you leave.

They call it "Co-dependancy"; Relying on someone or something else to fix your feelings. You're meant to do that yourself from now on. Hence the need to avoid relationships. For a while anyway. While you are still getting used to a new way of dealing with things.

At a push, the general concensus is that you can have a plant or a "non-demanding" pet. Like a goldfish maybe... 

I'm crap with plants. The last goldfish I had didn't even make it home. I'd won him (her?) at the fair. The string broke on the bag as I excitedly attempted to carry him back. He ended up on the zebra crossing. Long story short - no more goldfish.

So not the most shining of starts as I entered rehab. Especially as I already had a secret man....

We met in detox - as you do....(or maybe more specifically 'as I do'..) So he was bound to be a keeper - given my track record of attracting lovelies...

Long story short, we didn't last.

He started drinking again once we were out in the big wide world. To my credit, I refused to follow suit although he did his best to tempt me. And as heartbroken as I was when it happened, for the sake of  my own recovery  it was immediately a case of "asta la vista baby / another one bites the dust "and off I toddled.

Back into singledom....

Gutted didn't come close. Especially as it was starting to become painfully clear to me that kicking my addiction to alcohol had been a walk in the park in comparison to dealing with anyones attempts at prising me away from my Co-dependancy. 

Because my inner fox wants a boyfriend no matter who, or  seemingly what, the consequences. And what inner fox wants, inner fox gets. I just go along for the ride.  I'm obviously not ready to take her on just yet. Not while I don't like being by myself and stuff....

So it appears that I'm in more trouble than I thought.  Because staying Co-dependant just brings me heartache and  is guaranteed to lead to more headfuckery in the long-run.  And after meeting useless guy after useless guy, I'm finally all out of patience when it comes to dealing with  anything that could potentially mess with my head these days. So there is only one option open to me here.

I need to sort this co-dependency lark out, once and for all....Or basically, I'm fucked.

Shit.

I don't do single.....

 

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