- By girly-d
- On 14/01/2018
- 0 comments
It's impossible... Trying to keep a hold on my emotions right now. Absolutely, completely and utterly impossible. It's like trying to herd cats - Great big angry feral ones. It's just not going to happen. It's doing my head in. I'm climbing the walls here. Big time. Because this should never have happened.
I've gone from like, to flirt, to bed way too quickly. Again. And now I'm regretting it. I hardly know this guy. I just know that I've made a mistake. A whacking great big one.
So I need to call this off. Pronto. Because he's kind of like my boss, and is happily planning the rest of our lives together, completely oblivious to the fact that I've started to feel like I'm suffocating....So this could be trouble. Shit, Fuck, Bugger and Bollocks. I've only been here 5 minutes. I've barely unpacked.
I'm so not getting this....This "I need to be by myself" shit. But I do. I seriously do. Because me and relationships don't mix. There are way too many emotions for me to deal with and I'm notoriously rubbish with emotions.
So I need to tell him. It feels as though I'm about to kick a puppy. Because he's done absolutely nothing wrong. He's a genuinely nice guy, we just have literally nothing in common. I should never have let it get this far. He's going to be hurt.
We were going to go to Amsterdam. And maybe go abroad for the winter. It seemed like a good idea at the time. But my head is all over the place. And the spark just isn't there. I feel like I'm dating my dad. There is no way on earth that this is going to work, despite his best efforts. And I really can't pretend otherwise. Because that's just not fair on either of us...
So that's it really. Nothing else for it. Another one bites the dust.
Now I just have to tell him; Lovely. Can't wait. I'm sure he'll be ecstatic.....
And that I'll be looking for another job.....