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Herding Cats....

  • By girly-d
  • On 26/10/2017
  • 0 comments

It's impossible.

Trying to keep a hold on my emotions right now....Absolutely, completely and utterly impossible. It's like trying to herd cats - great big, angry feral ones. It's just not going to happen. It's doing my head in. I'm climbing the walls here. Big time. 

Because this should never have happened.

Shit.

I've gone from like to flirt to bed way too quickly. Again. And now I'm regretting it. I hardly know this guy.  I just know that I've made a mistake. A whacking great big monumental one. I need to call this off. Pronto. Because  he's kind of my boss....who's already happily planning the rest of our lives together completely oblivious to the fact that I've started to feel like I'm suffocating.  So this could be trouble. Shit, Fuck, Bugger and Bollocks. I've only been here 5 minutes. I've barely unpacked.

I'm so not getting this. This "I need to be by myself" shit. But I do. I seriously do. Because me and relationships don't mix. There are way  too many emotions for me to deal with and I'm going to get overwhelmed if I'm not careful.

I'm wobbling again. I recognise the signs. I really can't afford a wobble. I don't have the coping skills to deal with another tea party.  Especially now that getting completely fucked isn't an option to take the edge off things.

So I need to tell him. It feels like i'm about to kick a puppy. Because he's done nothing wrong. He's a genuinely nice guy. We just have absolutely nothing in common. I should never have let it get this far. He's going to be hurt. 

We were going to go to Amsterdam. And maybe go abroad for the winter. I meant everything I said at the time. But my head is all over the place. And the spark just isn't there. I feel like I'm dating my dad.  There is no way that this is  going to work, despite his best efforts.  And I really can't pretend otherwise. Because that's just not fair on either of us...

So that's it really. Nothing else for it. Another one bites the dust.

Now I just have to tell him.

Lovely. Can't wait. I'm sure he'll be ecstatic.....

And that I'll be looking for another job.....

 

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