Rainy days and Mondays.....
- By girly-d
- On 05/03/2018
- 0 comments
It's raining outside.
I have a day off today. Which means that I've made an executive decision to stay indoors.....mostly under my duvet.
I like rain.....so raining is good. Raining is progress. Two days ago we had snow....I'm not so keen on snow.
Because I live in a caravan.
When you live in a caravan, snow is not your friend. The drop in temperature freezes the pipes which means that there is no water. Having a hot drink or taking a shower is not an option.
Not so long ago I used to go for days on end without showering. But that was back in my breakdown days when my head had gone awol for a while. These days me and my Soap and Glory are besties.......and so the thought of not being clean now makes me shudder....
Apart from my bed, my shower is my favourite place. It's my sanctuary. A full-on 'Girl heaven' extravaganza.
There's a framed photo of my blog "The self-respect barbie" in there. It's the first thing that I see when I open the door. A subliminal reminder to teach me to love myself. It's slowly starting to sink in....
I've got big fluffy towels. A bronze statue of a lady in a chilled out pose on the shelf.....(for those days when I threaten my body with yoga) The whole place smells of oranges - my favourite aromatherapy oil. The surfaces are dotted with tealights.
I have a little speaker in there. For those "not so good" head days I get now and then. It was a present from my boyfriend. Before we broke up.
It tends to come in handy.
Because despite my best efforts to get back on track, there's a voice in my head that laughs at all this. It mocks any efforts I make to stay focussed and on the right track.
It takes the piss out of the fact that I live in a caravan......and it's the exact same voice that used to taunt me before.... until I caved in and became an alcoholic no-one on a sofa somewhere.....a voice that would love nothing more than to see me back there. It says that a lot. It says it can wait.
Which is good. Because it's in for a long one.
Because hell will freeze over before I ever go down that road again.
Right now it's pissed off with me. At least I think it is....it's muttering something.
I'm not exactly sure what if I'm honest. And to be fair I don't actually care. Because I'm in the shower now. With Ed sheeran on the playlist. My speaker set to full volume.
Not many things can compete with Ed Sheeran. Depression being one of them.
Because it's suddenly gone very quiet.
Taken the hint.
And fucked off....