- By girly-d
- On 18/09/2018
- 0 comments
I checked out of my head today.
I walked out of work, threw some clothes in a bag, jumped in a taxi and got the fuck out of Dodge while I was still able to think straight.
And no it wasn't planned and yes it came like a tsunami and I ran for the fucking hills before my over-loaded head exploded.
And I've been here ever since.
It's not quite Wonderland - although it absolutely could be. I'm a million per cent sure about that.
That whacking great spectre of addiction following me around...one claw round my windpipe with every step I'm taking, ready to throw my bag of clothes in his car and drag me straight back to hell...
Well he can fuck right off.
It's not happening.
Because I know who he is and I know what he looks like and even though I'm on the fucking floor today I'm still one step ahead of him.
I have a mental illness.
It tries to take over my head and tell me things that aren't true so that I can be a statistic.
It hangs out with my addiction, giving me "solutions" to my problems knowing full well that they will make everything a million times worse and play me right into the grim reapers hands...
Not going there.
So those two can knock themselves out throwing their curve balls and their skittles at me...
I'm not playing.
And when they are done and bored of that, they can fuck off back to Wonderland and give the place they set for me to someone else.
Because I'm a little bit freaked out and a little bit overwhelmed at the minute granted...but that won't kill me....what I'm not doing is ever drinking tea or eating cake with those two fucker's ever again...because that shit will.