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#amwriting....

  • By girly-d
  • On 12/11/2017
  • 0 comments

Earlier this year, a very clever lady gifted me this website. She designed it for me herself. Because she wanted me to write.

About anything...

About everything... 

She said that it would help me to make sense of the stuff that was going on inside of  my head. And that once I made a start on trying to get this stuff out of my head and into the open, that a story would start to emerge....My story. Because she thinks that it needs to be told.

I wasn't sure if i could do it at first.  Or even if i wanted to.

I'd just walked out of rehab. My head was all over the place.

I was living in a hostel. It wasn't the kind of place where you could sit quietly and gather your thoughts. It was chaotic, noisy, complicated, and there was no privacy unless I went to my room - where there was no wi-fi. Plus I was attempting to  adjust to life without getting shitfaced every day, whilst weaning myself off several different mind altering varieties of medication, oh, and did I mention that I'd just walked out of rehab....?

The last thing that I wanted to do was write.

I wrote anyway.....

I wrote, and I wrote.....And now I can't stop. 

Because the weirdest thing happened....People started to read my stuff. 

A lot of people.

Thousands.

Since July when I scribbled my very first tentative lines,  my blogs have been read over 16,000 times. People have read and followed my journey so far. The wrong turns, the bad men, the alcohol, the sofas, the hospitals and the rehab.....and how I've fought tooth and nail to climb my way out of a cess pit life and start again from scratch.  Without a manual. Figuring it out as I go along. Also known as "winging it".

Which appears to be working...because "Just a girl's" stories have been published five times so far.

In two months.

That's incredible. Even more so when you consider that this time last year I could barely string a sentence together....let alone write one...

I don't get to know these people  who are reading my blogs - on the train, on the bus, on a long-haul flight to Australia maybe, ...and I write behind a psuedoynm which means that they don't know me either. I'm simply "Just a girl"

Doing my thing. Writing about my shit....

It's therapy.

And it's working. I'm happy and I'm healthy and I'm free from an addiction that nearly killed me.

Writing has kept me grounded and focussed and taught me about resillience and inner strength. It's been my coping mechanism, when there hasn't been anything else for me to turn to. When I'm tired, when I'm tearful, when I'm frustrated upset or angry....all of the emotions that I used to react negatively on, I now channel into my writing. And seeing "Just a girl" take shape and start to move in her own way is incredible.

It makes (nearly) all of the shit stuff I had to go through to write this worthwhile.

So "Thank You" Clever Lady. For everything you've done and continue to do for me as I continue to shape "Just a girl" and make sure that her story is as good as it possibly can be....for that book that I am writing. 

And for giving me clarity, focus and the ability to look myself in the eye again... 

D....I'm indebted xx

mental health me myself and i not the slide

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